You‘ve heard it all before, exercise is very important for overall health and is great for reducing stress. And it‘s true! According to longstanding research, exercise:

• Reduces cholesterol levels, blood pressure, and risk of disease.

• Strengthens your cardiovascular and respiratory systems.

• Improves your circulation, digestion, and immune functioning.

• Stimulates body chemicals called endorphins, which affect your moods and emotions.

• Enhances self-esteem and self-image.

• Increases alertness and decreases fatigue.

Here are three basic tips for creating the right exercise program for you:

• Make an appointment with your primary health care provider. Find out if you have any limitations due to heart, respiratory, or weight conditions.

• Identify the best time of day for you to exercise: morning, lunch hour, afternoon, or after work. After eating a large meal, wait two hours before exercising. After strenuous exercise, wait 30 minutes before eating.

• Include all three of the following types of exercise into your program:

1) Aerobic exercise increases your heart rate for a sustained period, preferably about 30 minutes (e.g., walking, jogging, swimming, etc.).

2) Stretching or flexibility training keeps you supple, limber, and relaxed (e.g., yoga).

3) Toning exercise focuses on specific muscles that you want to firm or strengthen (e.g., push-ups, sit-ups, weight training, etc.).

“Words are like nets – we hope they’ll cover what we mean, but we know they can’t possibly hold that much joy, or grief, or wonder.”  – Jodi Picoult, “Change of Heart” 

As I write this post, it’s barely a month since the U.S. presidential election. But already there’s talk in the media about Mitt Romney’s apparent post-election “seclusion”, “malaise” and “boredom” as if these actions constitute some great sin. They are portraying him as the ultimate loser as he retreats to lick his wounds and re-assess his goals and his life.

Now, I’m no fan of Mitt Romney and I didn’t vote for him. But I can appreciate his pain and support him in taking adequate time to grieve his loss. He spent the past seven to ten years planning and positioning himself to make this run for the presidency, maybe longer. And reportedly he felt, right up until the final minutes of election night, that victory was within his grasp. So it was likely a huge shock to him and to those close to him that he lost.

Any kind of change in your life can trigger a sense of loss. The greater the loss, the greater the possibility that you will feel grief. Whether it be the death of a loved one, loss through separation or divorce or children leaving or family trauma, loss of a job or income, loss of health or mobility or opportunities, or moving to a new community, or something else … all loss is real. Sometimes you can feel grief even when you complete a positive goal because then the goal itself becomes “lost”.

Coming to terms with loss and grief can be a slow process. You might feel rushed if the people in your life want you to “get over it” or “move on “. But you can reduce your stress by allowing yourself enough time to heal in your own way and at your own pace.

During your grieving period, and even following, be sure to access proper support … you don‘t have to go through this alone. Reach out to others, especially to those who you trust and who will listen, as opposed to those who want to give “advice”.

Take advantage of healing professionals like psychotherapists, grief counselors, and/or spiritual counselors. You can also see if there are any grief-related support groups offered in your area, sometimes through the local hospice.

In addition, here are four recommended books dealing with grief:

• On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. (This tried and true resource from a pioneer in this field is still relevant.)

• Life after Loss: A Practical Guide to Renewing Your Life after Experiencing Major Loss by Bob Deits

• 90 Minutes in Heaven: A True Story of Death & Life by Cecil B. Murphey

• A New Normal: Learning to Live with Grief and Loss by Darlene F. Cross

This time of the year is often a challenging time for most of us. But that is particularly true if you are experiencing some form of loss or grief. As I mentioned above, all loss is real and generally results in the experience of grief, especially during this part of the year.

Here are some things you can do that may help:

• First off, remember that the “holidays” originally began as the “Holy Days” going back all the way to pagan celebrations of the solstice. That was before we secularized and commercialized them. Rather than falling into a culturally induced frenzy of unrealistic expectations, nostalgia and gift-buying, you can use this time to deepen and/or re-discover your own true spiritual beliefs and practices.
• Instead of isolating due to your grief, you can use this time to challenge yourself to reach out and be with others you love, even if it’s just for a little while.
• Give yourself the freedom to choose the company you keep. Focus on being with individuals whose company you enjoy. Avoid being with people who criticize, dominate, control or bring you down in other ways.
• Incorporate more exercise, nutritious food, restful sleep and rejuvenating activities during this time. Restrict the amount of alcohol, caffeine, sweets and fats you take in. Get out into the fresh air and sunshine as much as possible. Breathe deeply. Meditate!
• Above all else, allow yourself to set healthy boundaries. Don’t be at the whim of other’s expectations, or the culture’s expectations. The Rockwellian images offered via films, songs and the media are only “the stuff that dreams are made of”. They are a fiction. What is important is that you experience the truth of your life.

I wish you joyous Holy Days … expressed in your own unique way … via your own wellbeing lifestyle. Huzzah!

“There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth…not going all the way, and not starting.”    Buddha

Nothing has been researched more extensively, nor proven more conclusively to be effective in reducing stress, than meditation. The goal of meditation is to relax and quiet your mind.

Studies show that, as a result, meditation can lower your blood pressure, heart rate, breathing rate, and adrenaline levels.

Meditation is very simple, yet challenging enough to engage you every day for the rest of your years. And it can change your life.

Meditation relaxes your mind and body, making it less likely that you will get caught up in many of the stressors of everyday life. In addition to the ideas presented here, you may find it helpful to locate a meditation teacher, workshop, or book to deepen your meditation experience.

There are several forms of meditation. Here is one basic meditation instruction:

• Sit in a chair or on a cushion with your spine comfortably straight.
• You can close your eyes. Or, if you prefer, leave them open and hold a soft gaze at a 45-degree angle to the floor.
• Turn your attention to your breathing and the rising and falling of your belly.
Be aware of the “top” and “bottom” of your breath, and be careful not to hold
your breath at either point.
• Whenever you notice that your attention has drifted away to your thoughts,
gently bring your focus back to your breath and the rising and falling of your
belly.
• That’s all there is to it!

Meditation reduces stress most effectively when you practice it daily. You can
meditate for as little as 5 to10 minutes or as long as 45 minutes to an hour, or more. Many people find that approximately 20 minutes once or twice a day works
well, even with a busy schedule.

You can experiment to see which length of time best fits you and your lifestyle. Also, find a regular location and time each day to meditate. This often helps to maintain a regular routine in your meditation practice.

Oh, by the way it’s called a “practice” because that’s what it is. So don’t expect to be perfect at it right from the get go. Or at any point, actually. Meditation is something that is always practiced “in the moment”. It involves a constant re-commitment to bringing your attention into the present, into the now.

This practice may prove difficult in the beginning but over time it’s well worth the effort. The trick, as the Buddha said, is not to delay getting started.

“A hug is a handshake from the heart.” — Anonymous

Ah, summertime, sweet summertime. This summer was especially sweet for me. That’s why I haven’t been writing my blog posts. I was too busy walking my talk by living my own well-being lifestyle.

And what exactly was I doing? During the past several weeks, Lynn and I enjoyed two, rousing, 10-day road trips. The first one was to southern California: Big Sur, Hwy 1, Santa Barbara, and Ventura where we attended a 3-day workshop. A month later, our second road trip took us northward: my 18th annual pilgrimage to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, then Tacoma, Elk Prairie in the old growth redwoods, Mendocino, and wine tasting through Anderson Valley and along the Russian River in Sonoma County.

In between road trips, we also soaked up one week on an Alaskan cruise with family. Beautifully pristine wilderness all through the Inside Passage, unusually clear, blue skies, and, of course, the on-board food wasn’t bad. (And yes, I DID avoid most of the sugary treats.) A particular highlight was taking a float plane out to observe some spectacular glaciers. Whew!

I know, I’m going on a bit here. But I strive to be totally transparent in these posts. Well okay, almost totally transparent. And this is what my life has been about these past several weeks. I think it’s good that you know my intention is to actually live a well-being lifestyle myself, not just write about it. And travel is an important part of that for me.

Alright, time to focus on the real topic of this post. It’s something that is at once instinctually compelling, intricately nuanced, and culturally laden with many, and often divergent, implications.

I’m talking of course about how we seek and make physical contact with one another. Yes Virginia, this topic IS entirely relevant and an extremely important aspect of a well-being lifestyle.

We humans are, first and foremost, social creatures. We truly need each other. We are inter-dependent. And we need a certain amount of physical contact with one another, regularly.

“[Touch] is the first language we learn,” says Dacher Keltner, professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and the author of Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life (Norton, 2009).

“It remains,” Keltner says, “our richest means of emotional expression” throughout life. “In recent years, a wave of studies has documented some incredible emotional and physical health benefits that come from touch. This research is suggesting that touch is truly fundamental to human communication, bonding, and health.”

So, as adults, how do we go about getting enough touch and healing contact on a regular basis? Well, glad you asked.

Of course, meaningful touch can be as simple as a casual pat on the back, touch on the arm, or genial handshake. Going further, therapeutic massage and bodywork, dancing, sports, martial arts, as well as sensuality and sexuality … and hugs! … are all important ways to reduce stress, rejuvenate and heal your body, mind, and spirit, and improve your emotional outlook.

To find an appropriate massage or bodywork practitioner, you can look online or in the phone book or ask someone for a referral to schedule a session this week. Mmmmm … you’ll be glad you did.

I would be remiss if I did not also say something specifically about sensuality and sexuality. As we all know, they are two key sources of pleasure that bring us into the “now” in a magical way.

Sensuality focuses on pleasure that is accessed through our five senses and our sensitivities to truth and beauty. Sexuality is an important means of expressing intimacy in mutually pleasurable ways that can strengthen the bonds of our relationship.

But what could I possibly say here in short order about these two subjects that truly would be meaningful? Perhaps only that sensuality and sexuality are important aspects of life that are often misunderstood and so laden with cultural misinformation and “shoulds” that much of the potency and opportunity for direct experience and/or real intimacy is often missed.

Rather than trying to offer a short encapsulation on such a huge and nuanced topic, better I think to refer you to a selection of five recommended books. These books are each topical, well researched, well written … and in some cases well illustrated! Ahem … yes. So proceed at your own risk:
http://marriage.about.com/od/book1/tp/everythingsex.htm

If you haven’t already, may I suggest that you take, or make, the opportunity to touch and experience physical contact with someone today, and be touched in return. Your body, as well as your mind and spirit, will thank you!

My dream is of a place and a time where America will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.   – Abraham Lincoln

Are you ready for the second five? Well okay then. Here we go:

6. Prevalence of Violence. You experience it everywhere: our films, TV programs, computer games, news reporting, misogynistic rap music. You can find it as the basis of our shock culture, youth culture, gun culture. You see it in the way we talk to one another. Think it’s the same in other countries? Nope.

It’s true that we don’t have the glaring atrocities and genocide of some other countries. But the U.S. ranked a low 88^th (out of 158) in the Global Peace Index 2012 listings. That puts us in the lower half worldwide. Want more proof? The United States has less than five percent of the world’s population while we have almost a quarter of the world’s prisoners.

What you can do about it. Cultural change begins with each of us, one at a time. Start with your relationship to yourself. Treat yourself with the love and nurturing you deserve … as if you were a spiritual being in physical form. (Inside Information: You are!) Then let that love and respect ripple out to others.

Clean up the ways you talk to yourself, your inner “Self Talk”. Practice forgiveness. See EVERYONE’s humanity. Don’t allow violence to creep into your life via negative input, of any kind. Take action: vote to reduce poverty, inequality, and unemployment, (research shows that these are often the breeding grounds of violence). Be more active in your own community. BE the change you seek.

7. Over-worked & under-loved.  According to Juliet Schor, professor of sociology at Boston College and author of “Overworked American: The Unexpected Decline of Leisure“, we Americans have the longest work hours among all industrialized countries.

We have now surpassed even the Japanese who had previously been seen as the workaholics of the world. But the real kicker is that in whatever time we have left after all that work, we apparently don’t know how to nurture ourselves and develop real, honest-to-Pete quality of life.

What you can do. Take back control of your life and your lifestyle. Identify your true purpose (Tim Kelley’s book by the same name may help). Then re-evaluate your priorities and your goals. Dial back on consumerism and competition. Knowing how to multi-task when needed is great. But you don’t need to do it all the time. Your nervous system isn’t intended for that. Instead, learn how to soothe and rejuvenate yourself.

Simplify your life. It’s important to BE just as much, or more, than it is to DO. Many Americans have yet to learn that one. Rather than always striving to “keep up” or “get ahead”, put your focus on joy, satisfaction, creativity, fulfillment, authenticity, and loving relationships.

8. Stressed to the max. While stress can be a function of working too much, our stress in the U.S. derives from oh so much more than just overwork. How bad is our collective stress level? The U.S. Centers for Disease Control says that 80% of all health care expenditures in the U.S. are stress related. The American Psychology Association says it slightly differently by estimating that 75% to 90% of all doctors’ office visits are stress related. Either way you slice it its clear: stress is making us SICK!

What you can do about it. There are many causes of stress and many things you can do to overcome them … far too many in fact to adequately cover in this brief space. That’s why I write this blog … to provide an on-going discussion of these well-researched, time-proven approaches to reducing stress.

In addition, I write about the many things you can do to enhance your overall lifestyle and the quality and satisfaction level of your life. But if you want a quick, insider’s tutorial, Wellbeing Lifestyles provides an effective, low-cost, and easy-to-follow eBook entitled: The 7 Keys to Eliminating Stress: Your Guide to True Wellness & a More Fulfilling Lifestyle©. Right now we have a special offer of under $10 for this impactful, 93-page eBook.

9. Disregard of the feminine. Men, fear not. I’m not advocating that women take over. Having a matriarchy would be just as disastrous as extending the patriarchy that we’ve had for the past few thousand years. This isn’t about actual women and men, anyway. What I’m talking about is in the realms of the archetypal and the perceptual.

It’s about all of us, women and men, coming more into balance within ourselves. Of course, there are countries worse off than we are in terms of disregarding the feminine. But we can be a real pace-setter here. And oh, don’t we need this right now, especially in terms of our politics. The truth is, the world needs the feminine sensibility right now … before we do ourselves irreparable damage.

What you can do. There is a growing body of research indicating that the shift away from the feminine, and a balanced perception of the world, historically coincided with western culture’s shift from the oral to the written tradition. In other words, our left-brain functioning which controls writing and reading began to dominate.

But now you can change that. In order to bring yourself more into balance and equally utilize both hemispheres of your brain, and thereby enrich your life and your relationships, you can shift from a mainly left-brain, logical, literate orientation to include a more balanced right-brain, feeling, intuitive worldview.

Here’s how. Enjoy more of your life experience through your senses, all five of them. Learn to allow things to happen through intention and right action (the feminine) rather than trying to forcibly make them happen through strategy and manipulation (the masculine). Focus on inclusivity and community rather than power and hierarchy; on mythos and nature just as much as logos and technology. Include more truth, beauty, empathy, compassion, and intuition in your life experience. Oh yeah, and honor women and children.

10. Lack of care for the environment. Based on a recent Gallup Poll (April 13, 2012), it appears that Americans are less concerned now about environmental issues than we were in 2000. It would seem that bread-and-butter issues related to the recession and economy, and to the up-coming Presidential election, are most at the forefront of our attention.

But the bad news is that, overall, we are in worse shape environmentally than we were 12 years ago. And, if things continue as they are, we are headed for some real problems, in fact, some flat out disasters. Especially in the following areas: (listed alphabetically) climate change; deforestation; energy use; invasive species; mining; nuclear power; pesticides; pollution (air, water, marine, solid hazardous waste); population explosion; waste management.

What you can do. The good news is there’s a lot you can do! These range from the micro, like recycling and replacing your incandescent bulbs with CFL or LED lights, to the macro, like contributing money and volunteering with environmental groups. Probably the most important thing you can do is to stay informed and VOTE for environmental protection and improvements.

According to the folks at About.com, following are some more things you can do. Have fewer children. Use less water. Eat responsibly (locally grown food; organic meat and produce; less meat and fewer animal products). Conserve energy and switch to renewable energy. Reduce your carbon footprint by using this site: http://environment.about.com/od/globalwarming/a/carbon_foot.htm

So America, are you ready to be as good as your promise?

“What the people want is very simple.  They want an America as good as its promise.”  ~Barbara Jordan, U.S. House of Representatives

Last year, to commemorate our country’s 235th birthday on 4th of July, I wrote a post entitled “10 Things That Are Right About America”. I liked that piece. And I’ll stand by it today … even though it was uncharacteristically nationalistic of me.

That post felt timely in the face of so much national turmoil, political and partisan ballyhoo, and of course the recession. But today I want to write something different about what I think we Americans – of every political stripe – need to change.

And what, might you ask, does this have to do with developing a well-being lifestyle?

Well, plenty. If my assertions are correct, or even partly so, then each of these issues impacts our lives … your life … in a very real, not-just-hypothetical way.

Is there any good news in this post?

You bet there is! The good news is that you can do something tangible to alter each of these issues in your own life. Check it out …

1. Toxic culture. We live in a culture gone bad. In many cases, we’ve lost touch with our Self, with one another, with our community, with our environment, with nature. Many of us don’t live consistent with our true values … indeed, in many cases we don’t even know what they are! We eat unhealthy food, drink chemically laden water, breathe polluted air, and try to fill the emptiness of our lives with vapid, over-stimulating media.

What you can do. First and foremost, turn off your TV. (I turned mine off over 20 years ago.) Refuse to read your local bad-news-paper. Get your news online, if at all, via credible, balanced sources. Don’t watch films or read periodicals or go into agreement with neighbors or friends that espouse a negative or adversarial or paranoid worldview. Identify your true values and write them down. Then develop goals based on those values. Clean up your diet (more about this below), use an in-home water filter, and get enough sleep, rest, and rejuvenation.

2. Bottom line driven. Mother Teresa once said “The spiritual poverty of the Western World is much greater than the physical poverty of our people. You, in the West, have millions of people who suffer such terrible loneliness and emptiness. They feel unloved and unwanted. These people are not hungry in the physical sense, but they are in another way. They know they need something more than money, yet they don’t know what it is.” Yep, MT nailed it, smack on.

What you can do. Rather than living your life with an over-emphasis on money and career, put more of your focus on quality of life and Raising your Personal Vibration. (See my article on this topic.) If you don’t already have a spiritual practice, identify one that excites and nurtures you and then live it. Stay current, clean, and healthy with your relationships. Tell the truth, always. Remain active and vital within your chosen community. Access uplifting, motivational, and inspirational input on a regular basis.

3. Cult of the individual. We Americans are independent … to a fault. We have not yet realized that we are all inter-dependent and that we are connected to everyone and everything and always have been. On a planet that counts 7-billion co-inhabitants, and growing, we need to get up to speed on this one, pronto. “Denial” is not just some river in Egypt.

What you can do. Live your life from the reality that you are related to everyone and that everything YOU think, say, and do, every second of every day, makes a difference. (It actually does!) Live your life with purpose, integrity, and equanimity. Put your focus on good will and service to others.

4. Adversarial nature. Many of us have forgotten Pogo’s sage observation that “We have met the enemy … and he is us.” We generally want to project our failings and the unconsciously disowned parts of ourselves out there, onto others. The oldest part of our brain, the so-called reptilian brain, is focused on survival. As such, it is ALWAYS looking for danger and for an adversary … even when none exist.

What you can do. Of course, Americans are not alone in this one. But we have it within ourselves to become world-class role models here. That is, IF we learn to practice collaboration over competition. One way is by using American-born non-violent communication skills. (See Marshall Rosenberg’s book.) On an individual basis, don’t yield to the “reptilian” part of your nature. Easier said than done? Want the inside track on this one? Practice daily meditation.

5. Overweight and obese population. It’s unfortunate; it’s unnecessary; and it has already reached epidemic status affecting more than two in three American adults. And it’s still getting worse. Here’s a short YouTube clip of George Carlin talking about our American proclivities for stupidity and obesity. Viewer Warning: recorded near the end of his life, this uncensored, 8-minute clip is one of his most acerbic, non-PC rants ever. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLRQvK2-iqQ 

What you can do. Start a food journal to bring awareness to what, when, and how much you eat and drink. (You may be surprised!) Focus on a mainly plant-based diet of minimally and non-processed food … organic when possible. Cut back on your portions. Cut way back on sugar and carbs … especially sugar.  Don’t miss meals. Drink lots of purified water. Exercise most days of the week, just not out-of-doors when the ozone and/or pollen levels are high.

But wait. We’re only half done.

To be continued in my next post …

“Exercise: You don‘t have time not to.” — Anonymous

Yes, I know. It HAS been a long time since my last post. My inspiration, and having something I feel might actually be worth sharing, seems to come in waves. But let it be known that I not only have this current post, I also have the next two in progress.

About a year ago, I started attending an exercise class for the first time since college. This is the real deal. It’s led by a bona fide physical therapist who knows all about “core” exercises (aka Pilates-style exercise) that address your entire torso: abs, back and pelvis.

There’s a 30-minute cardio workout, 20-minutes of strength training, 20-minutes of balance work, 20-minutes of stretching and flexibility training. I attend the class twice a week then fill in with a third and sometimes a fourth day of weekly exercise on my own.

I can honestly say this class has changed my life. I feel better than I have in a long while. I’m healthier and, dare I say, happier. The only question is, why didn’t I start this loooong ago?!

As you probably know, exercise is one of the single most important things you can do for yourself. Not only does it help reduce your level of stress and your risk of chronic disease, it greatly improves your overall health, fitness, energy levels and longevity, as well as lifting your mood and outlook.

Since it‘s so important, don’t you think it might be a good idea to actually enjoy yourself while you exercise? Well, yeah!

Exercise doesn‘t have to be about feeling pain to make gain. In fact, that’s an entirely bad idea! It can lead to unnecessary injuries.

Exercise, when done correctly and regularly through small progressing steps, can be about improved health and vitality … over time. And you can increase the likelihood that you‘ll continue exercising if you make sure it‘s enjoyable.

So here are some ways to make exercise more fun:

• Schedule regular exercise with a friend and/or join an exercise class. Having regular exercise scheduled will make it much easier to do it, especially on those days when you don’t feel like doing it.

• Identify things you like to do regularly that also provide exercise. For instance, you can work in your yard or garden. Play up-beat music and move briskly (with some rhythm!) while you clean your house or wash your car.

• Focus on sports and activities you enjoy. Play golf, tennis, or frisbee. Go dancing, roller-blading, swimming, hiking, ice-skating, or walking with your dog. If it‘s a team sport, that‘s even better because you‘ll also be adding some socialization and a community-building aspect.

• Wear workout outfits that are comfortable, appropriate to the weather, and make you smile. It‘s easier to look forward to your exercise time if you feel good about yourself. Be sure to include supportive exercise shoes that are in good shape. These need to be fitted specifically to your feet. Find out if you “pronate” (when your ankles appear to tip in towards each other) or you “supinate” (ankles appear to tip out towards the outside rim of the foot). Different shoes are designed to correct for these tendencies. A good shoe store will have experienced sales people who can help you with this.

• Listen to audio books and podcasts, or play energizing music on your iPod. Here‘s an easy, time-saving way to keep up with your reading, become better informed, or simply enjoy yourself … all while you enhance your exercise experience.

• Keep your exercise routines fresh and exciting. Don‘t do the same thing all the time. Try different sports and activities. Take new classes. If you walk or jog, find new places to go. Don‘t let yourself fall into a rut or the same old routine. And whenever possible, when there are low pollen and ozone levels, exercise out-of-doors. Exposure to the fresh air and vitamin D from the sun is an important health benefit.

• Note your progress. Are you walking, jogging, or swimming further than when you began? Is your breathing smoother and fuller? Do you notice you have more energy at the end of your exercise routine? Also, be sure to measure your progress in inches rather than relying on the scale to tell you if you are improving. Changes in your weight take longer to show up and may be deceiving since you might be adding muscle weight. Instead, measure your biceps, waist, calves, etc., and note these positive changes. It‘s another way of adding to your enjoyment.

• Cool down! Believe it or not, cooling down and relaxing for about three to five minutes following your exercise routine is just as important as warming up before hand. It also provides a bit of a reward to look forward to. Many people will often get into the habit of exercising just so they can experience that period of endorphin rush and deep relaxation that follows their exercise routine.

• Stay hydrated. Drink lots of purified water before, during, and after exercise.

• Exercise just enough to re-energize yourself. Don‘t overdo it. For the first few weeks, exercise 5 to 10 minutes a day, just 2 or 3 days a week. As you build up your exercise routine, aim for 30 minutes a day and no more than 5 days a week. Your body requires adequate downtime for rest and repair.

And yes, that IS Michelle Obama inside that hula hoop. Now there’s a woman who is all about a well-being lifestyle!

“Continuous effort — not strength or intelligence — is the key to unlocking your potential.”    — Sir Winston Churchill

It’s that time again. The first of the year … the time for New Year’s resolutions.

“Oh groan”, did I hear you say? “Please spare us.”

Well yeah, you’re right. New Year’s resolutions have developed, and earned, a bad reputation.

The reason is most people have no intention of actually keeping their resolutions. These are usually no more than a feeble wish list … a wistful drive-by attempt to remedy what isn’t working. It’s the diet, the project(s), the self-improvement endeavor(s) that are doomed to failure as soon as you mention NYR.

My recommendation? Don’t go there. Instead, set some realistic goals for yourself that you can, and will, see through to completion.

“And exactly how do I do that?”

Well, I thought you’d never ask.

Setting realistic goals is an integral part of Taking Control of Your Time. That’s one of the seven strategies I present in my new eBook: The 7 Time-Proven Strategies to Reduce Stress: Your Guide To True Wellness & A More Fulfilling Lifestyle™.

As my beginning-of-the-year gift to you, following is a small part of what’s included in that section.

There are basically two secrets to successfully achieving any goal. Setting realistic goals is the first one. Following through, on time, is the second one. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Actually, it is.

Here are the steps that will help make it easier for you, and more effective:

• Select and pursue goals that are consistent with your true values. I show you how to identify your true values in the eBook. But for now, simply sit down and list your values. Write down what’s important to you in each of these key areas of your life: CAREER … FINANCES … HEALTH/ WELL-BEING … FRIENDS … SPOUSE/ SIGNIFICANT OTHER … FAMILY/ CHILDREN … AGING PARENTS … FUN/ RECREATION/ HOBBIES/ TRAVEL … LEARNING/ PERSONAL GROWTH … CREATIVITY … SPIRITUALITY … COMMUNITY … PEACE OF MIND … HAPPINESS/ FULFILLMENT. Be sure to include any other areas of your life that are important to you. If your goals are not consistent with your true values, you’re much less likely to fulfill them.
• Set goals that are actually achievable. Don’t shoot for something that’s an unattainable fantasy. In other words, set realistic goals that you can believe in and see yourself achieving.
• Set positive goals — something you’re working towards, not against. For example, instead of “Stop eating junk food,” make your goal “Eat more fresh fruits, vegetables, and unprocessed food.”
  
• Schedule a completion date for each goal. Start with your goals for the year and then break them down into smaller, bite-sized steps for one day, one week, one month, one project. Then, do whatever it takes to complete your goal, on time!
• Write down your goals and list each step. Here’s an example. Clean garage: 1) Throw out unwanted items or set aside for donation. 2) Organize things on storage shelves and in cabinets. 3) Organize tools. 4) Sweep.
• Read your written goals often and stay on track. Do this even as you deal with interruptions and changes/upgrades in your plans.
• Be sure to reward yourself at the completion of each goal, and after completing each major step along the way! This is more important than you might think. You’re less likely to continue striving toward the completion of your goals if your only reward is to be more efficient so that then you can do more work. Yuck! That won’t keep you going for long.

Make your rewards pleasurable and meaningful, even if they’re small. Rewarding yourself for a job well done is a positive way of encouraging yourself to keep setting and achieving your goals.

So don’t waste time this year with wishful NYRs. Instead, set realistic goals throughout the year and complete each one, on time. Then, reward yourself.

Happy New Year. May this coming year be your best one yet!

“The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn’t the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.”
– John Lennon

Do you sense it, too? Can you feel it in the culture? Or rather, the lack of it?

Something is happening that I never thought I would witness. The time of the Boomers may be passing.

The “pig moving through the python” is beginning to dissipate. If not in size, at least in influence and impact. It appears we’re starting to enter the lower entrails of the python. And beyond that … well, you know.

So how did it come to this? In truth, it’s been slow. In bits and pieces. But it’s been relentless and seemingly irrefutable. Or has it?

First of course, there was the music. As my 19-year-old asked me a few years ago, “Dad, did you ever think Rock ‘n Roll would be a thing of the past?”

What? A thing of the past? How and when did THAT happen?

“Ah yes, but it did, Dad.”

And what, pray tell, replaced Rock?

“Oh so many things: Alternative, Hip Hop, Indie … more.”

When I thought about it, I realized he was right. The six primary presets on my car radio are: three Rock stations, NPR, Classical, and our local community eclectic station.

Much of the Rock they play is older stuff with some wimpy Taylor Swift and Sheryl Crow thrown in for good measure. But not a lot of formative, move-you-to-your-roots new stuff. More Pop than Rock. Oh my.

Then, there are the films. Remember when plot and character development used to be important? Unfortunately, many of today’s films consist mostly of CG effects and shock-value sequences.

It’s all Star Wars gone amuck. While the former was a bona fide classic, I’m just not moved by the “graphic novel” versions of comic books and bozo comedies that provide much of our current film fare.

And then, of course, there’s the technology. We Boomers can’t, or won’t, or don’t want to keep up with all the changes. Frankly, we’ve already seen too many.

We’ve gone from “change seeking” to “change adverse”. We’ve gone from a deep hunger for new information and innovation, to today’s information glut and ubiquitous, never-ceasing innovation.

So let’s take a deeper look. Starting on January 1st, 2011 Baby Boomers began to hit retirement age.  From now on, every single day more than 10,000 Boomers will reach age 65. That’s going to keep happening for the next 19 years.

Sobering, isn’t it?

There were approximately 80,000,000 Boomers born in the U.S. between 1946 and 1964. We’ve had two former U.S. presidents who were born in the first year of the Boomer onslaught (Bill and George II). Barack was born in its second-to-last year.

It is estimated that the Boomer generation will hold a plurality in Congress only until 2015, and the White House perhaps until 2021. Boomers also may have a majority in the Supreme Court from 2010 to 2030. But that’s not very much influence for a demographic that’s used to being the trend setter.

As a further sign of the times, Steve Jobs, visionary, co-founder and former CEO of Apple, died today. It was a huge loss. To say that Jobs was a protean shape-shifter of our culture is not hyperbole. He was the epitome of the Boomer’s predisposition toward thinking out of the box in ways that make a social contribution and/or alter our awareness.

A few more Boomer examples who fit that description and readily come to mind are: Bill Gates; Jeff Bezos; Oprah Winfrey; Al Gore; Ken Wilber; Elizabeth Warren; Jon Stewart; and even Robin Williams.

I think it’s significant that Boomers Dave Letterman and Jay Leno are nearing the end of their reign as the kings of late night television. Research shows that this is where we Americans turn in times of national crisis.

The patter on late night television is apparently the means via which we bond as a nation. It’s where contemporary culture is parsed: headline by headline; joke by joke; guest by guest. It’s our collective village fire when we are faced with serious conflict and/or catastrophe. And the position of host for those two pivotal programs soon will pass to the next generation.

So are the Boomers fading in terms of influence? And if so … so what? What’s the big deal? Remember, the only constant in the universe is change.

Well, yeah. But the problem is, this is MY generation. WE are the ones who were going to make a difference and change the world. WE were going to usher in a new world paradigm.

And you know what? We did! We actually did. And we are continuing to change paradigms: from business models to concepts like evolutionary spirituality. From technology to parenting. From styles of communication to lifestyles. And so much more in almost every field of human endeavor.

It’s just that it hasn’t been as much, or as idealistic, or as complete as we all had hoped.

But we did do our part. Just as the so-called “Greatest Generation” made a difference, so too did, and are, we.

The times they may be a-changin’ … again. But we Boomers certainly are not yet done. And who knows, perhaps our finest hour is still ahead.

In fact, I’d keep a look-out for just that. Long live the Boomers …

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”
— Arthur Somers Roche, Author & Journalist

I’ve recently been participating in an exercise class where the subject of anxiety came up. Having had a personal history of asthma since childhood, I know something about anxiety and more specifically about the panic associated with loss of breath.

It probably will come as no surprise that anxiety abounds in our contemporary culture. According to the latest research, approximately 18% of Americans suffer from episodic to chronic bouts of anxiety disorder, mainly in reaction to stress. Millions more suffer from everyday, garden variety anxiety on an occasional basis.

Here’s how Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence (1995), describes chronic worry and anxiety: “A close analysis of chronic worry suggests that it has all the attributes of a low-grade emotional hijacking: the worries seem to come from nowhere, are uncontrollable, generate a steady hum of anxiety, are impervious to reason, and lock the worrier into a single, inflexible view of the worrisome topic.” (p.65) Sound familiar?

It appears that the central objectives when dealing with anxiety are to first calm the body’s extreme fight or flight reaction, then work with the mental associations that are triggering the anxiety in the first place. Makes sense, yes?

But here’s a cautionary note before we proceed any further. It’s generally a good idea to address severe or chronic anxiety with your primary health care provider. This is important. Severe or chronic anxiety can be intense and exhausting. Left untreated, it can be dangerous.

However, if your anxiety is mild to moderate, you may find these tips helpful:

1) Stay in the present. Anxiety and panic are often accompanied by urgent thoughts of how a situation might get worse. Practice mindfulness by observing and slowing down your thoughts. Notice what is actually happening now rather than focusing on what you’re afraid might happen in the future.

Don’t resist your uncomfortable feelings or try to wish them away. Instead, simply witness them as if you were an objective outside observer. Be curious about your feelings, along with their ebb and flow. Patiently wait for the worry and anxiety to subside while you do simple, enjoyable tasks.

Sound difficult? It’s not really. It won’t take long for you to get comfortable with and proficient at doing this.

It’s also important to pay attention to your breathing by becoming aware of your breathing cycle. Gently calm your breathing and slow it down.

2) Challenge the worry cycle. Researchers have found that excessive worry is at the heart of most people’s anxiety. To reverse that process in a healthy way, be mindful of the worry cycle as it gets started. Notice what leads to worry and be aware of when your thoughts begin to spin out of control. Then challenge the worry cycle by asking questions designed to dismantle it:

• What is the probability that the catastrophes I fear will actually happen?
• Am I exaggerating the facts?
• Is it actually true that there are no alternatives to this negative outcome, or are there other possible outcomes?
• Does my continual recycling of these worrisome thoughts actually help me?
• What can I do proactively to impact this worry process in positive, healthy ways?

The bigger question we have to ask ourselves is why are so many individuals today overcome with anxiety in the first place? Is this natural? Are we meant to live lives of “quiet desperation”?

Well, in a word … nah!

I believe we have all the awareness and tools we need to live healthy, joyful lives filled with opportunity, meaning, and satisfaction. The main reason there is so much anxiety today has much to do with the out-of-balance lifestyles we live and how out-of-balance our entire, contemporary culture is.

Anxiety, worry, and panic are emotional states that you can learn to work with effectively. Believe me, I know. You even can use them as an impetus to propel you toward improving your overall lifestyle and quality of life.

The next time you find yourself in one of these states, use the techniques described above. For a more comprehensive approach, take a look at the article entitled How To Raise Your Personal Vibration here on our home page.

If or when you again feel yourself caught in the grip of anxiety, worry, and/or panic, keep in mind the wise old axiom that this too will pass … then take appropriate, proactive steps toward upgrading the quality of your lifestyle.